Embarking on the parenting journey can feel like a colossal task. But, bear in mind that every parent starts at the same point – and that starting point is you! Your presence here, immersing yourself in this reading, signals your caring nature and assures me that you are already doing a stellar job. However, before you embark on guiding your child through life’s complexities, it’s essential to find your ‘happy place’ to navigate from a place of serenity and strength. Perfection is not the prerequisite, but establishing your own source of happiness and relaxation is pivotal. My personal “cup-filler,” as I like to call it, is enjoying a quiet coffee moment with my wife for about fifteen minutes each day before the kids awaken. While my happy place has evolved over the years – I didn’t even drink coffee for the first decade of our marriage – the important takeaway is maintaining mental and emotional wellness because parenting, while rewarding, can be equally unpredictable and frustrating.
Children, with their intuitive nature, can sense when you’re stressed, fatigued, or unwell; they’re surprisingly discerning little beings. The objective is to teach them how to regulate themselves and mature into productive individuals. Hence, recognizing the activities that ‘fill your cup’ or rejuvenate you is crucial. I have friends who find their ‘cupfiller’ in various activities – one finds joy in walking her kids to school, while another finds tranquility in prayer during her runs or walks. If you’re uncertain where to start, compile a list of activities and consciously identify whether they energize or drain you.
Upon pinpointing those energizing activities, delve deeper into understanding what, where, and how you were doing, interacting, and engaging. This introspective exercise is not just for your benefit but can be a profound tool to understand and cater to your child’s needs and preferences too. The AEIOU framework (Activities, Environments, Interactions, Objects, Users) from “Needfinding” by Dev Patnaik provides a valuable perspective through which you can effectively plan and design your child’s education, particularly for homeschooling parents among us. I’ve included additional “cupfiller” examples below, and remember, they can span various timeframes. If your cupfiller takes longer, perhaps dedicate a specific day each week to indulge. So, what are you waiting for? Identify your cupfiller and embark on this journey – your little one is counting on it!
Example 1: The Artist
Identification: Notices elevated mood when creating art.
Activity: Dedicates time for sketching, painting, or digital art creation. Maybe takes an art course or joins a local art community.
Example 2: The Prayerful Parent
Identification: Finds solace and strength through spiritual connection.
Activity: Dedicates specific times of the day, perhaps early mornings or late evenings, to engage in prayer or meditative activities. This could be stationary – in a designated prayer space at home, or mobile – during a peaceful walk through nature.
Example 3: The Fitness Enthusiast
Identification: Feels invigorated after a good workout.
Activity: Allocates specific days for different workouts – yoga, HIIT, or cycling, ensuring a mix that keeps things interesting.
Example 4: The Nature Lover
Identification: Experiences tranquility and rejuvenation when outdoors.
Activity: Weekly or bi-weekly nature walks, hikes, or even simple picnics in a park to connect with the natural world.
Example 5: The Avid Reader
Identification: Finds escapism and relaxation in reading.
Activity: Dedicates a specific ‘reading hour’ daily/weekly or joins a book club to combine social interaction with a loved hobby.
Example 6: The Culinary Explorer
Identification: Feels happiness and satisfaction when trying out or creating new recipes.
Activity: Tries cooking a new recipe once a week or explores different culinary cultures each month.
Example 7: The Social Butterfly
Identification: Gains energy from social interactions.
Activity: Regularly schedules coffee dates, virtual calls, or small gatherings with friends and family.
Example 8: The Mindfulness Seeker
Identification: Feels grounded after meditation or mindfulness activities.
Activity: Adopts a daily meditation practice or explores mindfulness through yoga or Tai Chi.
Example 9: The Music Lover
Identification: Feels uplifted when listening to or creating music.
Activity:Dedicates time for music, whether it’s learning an instrument, singing, or curating playlists.
Example 10: The Lifelong Learner
Identification: Gets excited about acquiring new knowledge or skills.
Activity: Takes up courses, attends workshops, or listens to podcasts related to topics of interest